Holy's Best Things About Being a Guy ( that can apply to me ) Sorry Poke I copy You <object class="emojione" data="
https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/1f61b.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":p">:p</object> I had idea then saw you did it. Oh well <object class="emojione" data="
https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/1f61b.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":p">:p</object>
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-You know stuff about tanks.
-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-Monday Night Football
-You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
-Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter. (I also only take about 15 minutes in the bathroom in the morning)
-Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight. ( Depending )
-Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind. ( I have a personal person whom cuts it and colors it chepeish )
-When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
-Your ass is never a factor in job interviews.
-Guys in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards).
-You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
-You understand why Stripes is funny.( Heh heh good one there <object class="emojione" data="
https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/1f61b.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":p">:p</object> )
-You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
-You can leave the hotel bed unmade. ( I hate to make the bed <object class="emojione" data="
https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/1f61b.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":p">:p</object> )
-When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
-You can kill your own food.
-You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
-You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
-If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
-Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
-None of your coworkers have the power to make you cry.
-You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
-If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.
-You can write your name in the snow.
-Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
-Chocolate is just another snack.
-You can be president. ( In this lifetime). ( JERK! Girls can be prezzie too )
-You can quietly enjoy a care ride from the passenger's seat.
-Flowers fix everything.
-You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
-Michael Bolton doesn't exist in your universe.
-Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
-You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking he must be mad at me.
-You get to jump and slap stuff.
-You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
-You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy
-Same work.....more pay!
-You don't care if someone's talking behind your back.
-If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
-The remote control is yours and yours alone.
-People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
-ESPN's SportCenter.
-You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
-You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
-You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
-If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friend you've changed.
-You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*ck it."
-Princess Di's death was just another obituary. <---- F*ck no.
-You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. <---- Heh heh
-If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the wall.
-New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
-You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
-There's always a game on somewhere. <--- FOOTBALL!!!
I think that this was a fun adventure. Thank you HolySm0kes. ( And poke )