lucaslower wrote:
The sentences are meant to be choppy and short, as if someone is retelling the story from memory. It is set in past-tense, and the main character is recording himself telling his story of the apocalypse to send out to survivors. The short sentences are supposed to add the effect of him pausing, and thinking.
I think he means that the sentences sometimes don't sound right, and don't follow up to the next one correctly.
And even if it is meant to be a narrative, it should still be easy to read.
It looks pretty promising though apart from those minor details, keep it up <object class="emojione" data="
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