Stathve, from what I can see in your screenshots, you essentially have a long tunnel, with water channels. I presume you want mobs to spawn in the “dry strip”, and then be pushed by the current to your position. Unfortunately, your idea might not work so well.
After the 1.8 patch, monster movement was changed. They still spawn between 24 and 128 blocks of you, but mobs further than 16 blocks from a player will not move as much (if at all). What this means is, unless you repeatedly walk back and forth from the spawning area/dry strip to your “collection point”, mobs will stand still at the spawning pad you constructed. They will NOT go into the water to be pushed towards you. (Download an old map of a mob tower and you can see what I mean.)
Another problem is, since the 1.2.3 update, Minetown has been lagging a LOT. This is most likely the result of faulty/unstable plugins that are still in development, the update itself, and/or DDoS attacks. The lag has caused monster spawning and movement to decrease. Mob spawners ordinarily take an average of 25 seconds to spawn a mob. However, these past few days, it takes an average of about 2-4 minutes for a mob to spawn. Without a spawner, it would take even longer for mobs to spawn in your trap.
The final factor that could be affecting your trap is its environment. Since you are deep underground, there can be many cave systems around your mob trap. This can greatly reduce the number of mob spawns, making the chance of a mob spawning inside your trap almost impossible.
Fortunately, there are several alternatives you can choose from. The simplest one is to purchase a spawner, and hook it up to a grinder. You do not need to do anything, and you get free drops. The other option is for you to build a newer version of a mob trap. There are several designs online that work quite well. (Search up “The Orb” or “The Grid”, and you’ll see what I mean)