Post the lyrics for your favorite Christmas song parody! We could all use a laugh or two to brighten up the holidays! <object class="emojione" data="https://resources.enjin.com/1489581540/themes/core/images/emojione/svg/1f642.svg?0" type="image/svg+xml" standby=":)">:)</object> (Warning, my parody selection contains some language...)



December 14

Dearest John,

I went to the door today and the post today and the postman

had delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful

gift!! I couldn't have been more surprised.

With deepest love and devotion,

Agnes

December 15

Dearest John,

Today the postman brought your sweet gift. Just imagine...two

turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your thoughtfulness. They

are just adorable.

All my love,

Agnes

December 16

My dear John,

Oh, aren't you the extravagant one? Now i really must protest.

I don't deserve such generosity...three French Hens!!! They

are just darling, but I must insist, you've been too kind.

Love,

Agnes

December 17

Dear John,

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really,

they are beautiful...but don't you think enough is enough?

You are being TOO romantic.

Love,

Agnes

December 18

Dearest John,

What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five gold rings...

one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.

But all those birds squawking is beginning to get on my nerves.

With love,

Agnes

December 19

Dear John:

What goes on? When I opened the door today there were actually

six geese alaying on my front steps! So, you're back to the

birds again, huh? There's bird shit all over the house and they

never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a

nervous wreck. It's not funny anymore. So STOP already.

Sincerely,

Agnes

December 20

John:

What's with you and the fucking birds? Seven swans aswimming?

What kind of goddamn joke is this? There's shit and water all

over the place from the swans--the neighbors are talking about

an eviction notice and I'm up to my ass in bird shit, so knock

it off!

AGNES...

December 20

OKAY BUSTER

I think I prefer the birds...what the hell am I going to do

with eight maids milking? It's not enough with all those birds

and eight maids a milking, but they had to bring the Goddamn

cows! There's shit all over my lawn and I can't move in my own

house. Just lay off SMART ASS !!!!!!

A.

December 22

Listen Shithead,

What are you some kind of sadist??? Now there's nine pipers

piping, and FUCK, do they pipe! They've never stopped chasing

those maids around since they got here yesterday morning! The

cows are getting upset and are stomping all over the screaching

birds. Now fuck off...

December 23

You Dirty Prick ! ! !

Now there are 10 ladies dancing. I dont know why I call those

sluts ladies!! They've been balling the pipers all night long.

The cows can't sleep and furthermore, they have diarrhea. My

living room is a river of shit! The city commissioner of

buildings has subpoenaed me to show why the building should

NOT be condemned. I am calling the cops on you, you bastard!!

December 24

You lousy, Rotten Son-of-a-bitch !!!

What's with the eleven lords aleeping on those maids and

ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those

pipers ran through all the all the maids and have been

committing sodomy with the cows. All 23 of the birds are

dead, they were trampled to death during the orgy. I hope

you're satisfied you fucking moron!

Your eternal enemy!

December 25

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowlege your latest gift of 12 drummers drumming,

which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes

Smith. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence

should come to our attention.. If you should attempt to reach

Miss Smith at the sanitarium, the attendants have instructions

to have you shot on sight. With this letter, is enclosed a

warrent for your arrest.

Cordially,

Wilson, Jones & Meade

Attourneys-at-Law

Walkin' 'Round in Womens Underware (Parody of Winter Wonderland_

"Lacey things, the wife is missing.

Didn't ask, for her permission

I'm wearing her clothes,

her silk panty hose.

Walking around in women's underwear.

In the store, there's a teddy.

With little straps, like spagetti.

It holds me so tight,

like handcuffs at night.

Walking around in womens underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin.

He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.

He'll say "Are you ready?"

I'll say, "Woah man! Lets wait untill the wife is out of town."

Later on, if you wanna,

We can dress, like Madonna.

Put on some eye shade, and join the parade.

Walking around in women's underwear.

Lacey things, missing.

Didn't ask, permission.

Wearing her clothes, silk panty hose.

Walking around in women's underwear.

Walking around in women's underwear.

Walking around in women's underwear......"

Anything by Bob Rivers. He did Zionia's song

WANT A JOKE ABOUT CHRISTMAS ??

JUSTIN BIEVER CHRISTMAS SONG DERP